For Blue Skies
by unGRACEful
Summary: "It's been a long year, since we last spoke. How's your halo? Just between you and I, you and me and the satelites. I never believed you. I only wanted to. Before all this what did I miss? Do you ever get homesick?" Channy! Rated t for teen issues. :
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hey, it's Grace! I did post this story on The. Vintage. Record, but I recently made my own account, and I decided to go with the story from here.

I have changed this chapter a little bit. Instead of it being based on Jay Asher's Th1rteen R3asons Why, this is going to be like that and P.S I Love You. ish. I'm just going to go with the flow, you know? Haha

I will tell you where I've been in my next chapter's AN, because I will be posting that chapter after this one. :)

I'll see you at the bottom!

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Have you ever heard of the saying, "Live each day like it's your last"?  
What do you think of it?  
Do actually do it?  
Do you just acknowledge it and move on? Or does it just remind you that your life is going to end one day?  
Isn't it ironic, that today being my last day, that saying never crossed my mind?

I kissed the envelope in, my hand and gently placed it down the chute of the mailbox. Tomorrow, that letter will be in the hands of Chad Dylan Cooper.

I walked to the elevator in my apartment complex and pressed the button signalling that I wanted to go up. A single tear made its way down my cheek as I waited. You tend to spend a lot of time waiting, in life. Waiting, anticipating, whishing, wondering. It's all the same. Something I'm not going to miss. Let's just say that I've never been one of patience.

The elevator bell rang and the doors in front of me opened. I stepped inside the empty box and pressed the button for my level. The doors closed and more tears escaped. I reached for the bottle from its hiding place in my pocket. I stared at it in my shaking hand and turned the lid. I brought the bottle to my lips and tilted my head back, letting the pills fill my mouth, choking me. The elevator came to a stop and the doors opened. I walked out of the elevator and stumbled my way towards my door, swallowing all of the tiny capsules in my mouth. I got to my door and shakily un-locked the door with my keys. I pushed my door open and stumbled in, managing to close the door behind me. I swallowed every last pill down my throat as breathing became harder. I was glad that my Mum was out that night. I don't know how I would've done this with her there. She would try to stop me, and that's not what I want.

For the first time in a while, I started to feel a little bit happy, a little bit excited, because I knew I'll be put out of my misery. I will be gone soon and there'll be no more for me. No more feeling paranoid, that I'm not good enough, that I'm not appreciated. No more thinking about every move I make. No more worrying about good press. No more faking. I'll be gone. I'll be free.

As my mind began to numb, the shaking becoming more violent, I managed to make it to my bedroom, collapsing on my bed. I released the bottle from my grasp, the pills I missed spilling out, the container clattering on the ground. As I was slipping away slowly, I decided to be cliché and think about my life. Watch it fly before my eyes. Mostly bad moments filled with those who didn't believe in me, put me down, left me, and took advantage of me. But there were some moments that brightened them ever so slightly; and in every one of them starred the blonde heart-throb that I loved. Sadly, one person can't change all that's been done in the past.

The shaking finally subsided and my whole body was numb. The edges of life dissolving rapidly. The choking became fiercer, my heart beating out of my chest and I knew this was it. I closed my eyes and waited once again.

_Goodbye, kids. I hope you have a wonderful life._

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"**SONNY MUNROE FOUND DEAD."**

"**WISCONSIN SWEETHEART GONE."**

"**SUICIDE OR MURDER? WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ALLISON MUNROE?"**

"_**SO RANDOM!**_** FANS SWARM TO REMEMBER SONNY MUNROE."**

"**WILL **_**SO RANDOM!**_** CONTINUE?"**

"**STARS REMEMBER ALLISON "SONNY" MUNROE."**

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**A/N: **Yes, I did kill off Sonny. Please don't hate me! I had to. I didn't have a choice. (Well, actually, there is always a choice, isn't there_? To be, or not, to be? That, is the question_. O_o) THAT was random. My bad.

My attempt at writing a suicide. It's not that good, but hey, I've never committed suicide and I plan on never having to do so, so I have no idea what you're supposed to be feeling and what happens etc.

Next chapter will be up straight after this one!

**Over, out and peace out suckahs!  
**(See what I did there? I combined my usual "over and out" with Chad's "peace out, suckahs" Aren't I cool?)

Gracee.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N **So, if you're reading this, then you obviously **loooved** the first chapter. I mean, why wouldn't you? I did write it. (Yes, I am always so humble. :) ) Anyways, thanks for clicking over.

So, this chapter is based on **For Blue Skies by Strays Don't Sleep**. I absolutely adore this song. It is sad, and doesn't pick up the tempo, but it is really beautiful. I recommend you go look it up and listen to it while reading this. It might make you cry... or not. Don't knock it. (I did quote Zora. I am just awesome like that.)

So, here's what I've been up to.

1. It's production week! (Each year, my school puts on a musical and we call it 'production'.) It has been pretty busy so far, but it is worth it. We did our matinee today and we nailed it! It was so much fun. There is a guy in it, that all the girls are supposed to fall for and be totally in love with him, and guess what his name is? CHAD. But, this guy is not someone you would fall for. I just keep on imagining Chad Dylan Cooper and it's working out pretty well. Haha.

2. I must warn you, if you ever wanna be in a musical, it is very mean. So much b***h fights and competiveness. It's a tough world. Haha.

3. My Geography teacher is physic! He came up to me last week, handed me a book and said "This is to prepare you for my Philosophy class you will be taking next year." So, yeah. I guess I'm taking philosophy next year.

4. In the first week of school holidays, this guy that I've become really good friends with declared his attraction towards me. uhm... AWKWARD! I don't like him like that, but he was really sweet. I told him that I didn't like him, and that he deserves someone else, but I felt really bad for him. I haven't talked to him in a while. Any advice here?

Anyway, I'll see you at the bottom!

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**For Blue Skies**

_Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore?  
If you were suddenly gone, how would your world react?  
Whatever you imagined is wrong. There's nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the Ocean. It's deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love._

_-One Tree Hill._

I walked around the cemetery slowly, taking time to read the names on the graves before me. The names weren't just words carved in stone, they were actual people. They were someone's friend, someone's brother, someone's sister, someone's daughter, brother, spouse, enemy, lover. They all meant something to people, and they were gone. They were taken away from them without a choice; without their consent. But that's the thing with death. It can happen at any time, to anyone, anywhere.

The heavy rain started to die down as I rounded the corner, onto the next row. I walked past one, two, three, before I stopped in front the one tombstone that had the name of someone special, beyond imagining, to me. Allison Munroe. "Hey perky-face." I whispered. The rain immediately stopped and the clouds parted, letting the sun shine through, its rays warming my cheeks. I chuckled softly, "You always did light up a room, just with your presence." I smiled. I bent down and replaced the dried up flowers with the bouquet of sunflowers I brought. Sunflowers always reminded me of her. They were big and bright and they're beautiful in their own way. Just like Sonny. "It's been a while since we last spoke, huh? Almost a year; and what a bloody long year it has been. God, I miss your beautiful voice. How's heaven treating you? They better be taking good care of my angel for me." A ghost of a smile creeped its way onto my face as I looked up at the sky, admiring the clouds and the sun. I looked around me to see if there was anyone around, that I was alone. All clear. "Just between you and me," I said, bending down closer to the ground. "I never believed them." I whispered. I sat down on the wet grass, closer to my Sonshine. I felt the water and mud seep through my Mack Falls pants, but I didn't care. "I never believed that you would do something like that. I thought it was all a big practical joke, as sick as it would be. But over time, when you never turned up to the studios, when I saw your life-less body get lowered into the ground, I finally realised you were gone. But you're not completely gone. You're still in our hearts; forever in mine. You're kinda a hard person to forget, Sonny.

"You were a happy person. It seemed like you loved life. Those first few months, I kept on thinking over and over again, 'What did I miss? How did I not notice it?' But I never figured it out. I guess you were a better actress than I gave you credit for. But, can I ask one question? I know you must've hated life, seeming you...uh...yeah, did that... but don't you ever get homesick? Don't you miss _some _things about earth and life?" _Don't you miss me?_ I added in my head. Silence followed. Just plain silence. No noise but the distant noise of traffic. More tears cascaded down my face. I shook my head slowly. Back and forth, back and forth. "I can't get used to this. Not being able to talk to you without you answering back, not seeing your smiling face in person, not just pictures and old re-runs. I only knew for just over a year, but I'm never gonna get used to going back to the way it was before I knew you." I leaned my forehead on the edge of the tombstone and just stayed like that, sobbing softly. I don't know how long I stayed like that, but soon enough, it was dark. The sun had set, and the stars were out, twinkling on the black velvet sky.

***Flashback***

Sonny and I were at Lookout Mountain, lying in the bed of her red truck, admiring the stars. My arm was around her and her head was on my chest. Sonny was looking beautiful that night. She always looks beautiful, whether she's smiling, or sad. Even on her worst day, she still looked beautiful; she can't help it. "Chad, do you mind if I ask you something?" Sonny's voice broke the silence between us. I looked down at her, "Anything." I smiled. I was a bit wary though. It was random of her to just ask a question like that.

"What would you do if I were dying?" She asked. I was taken aback.

"Sonny, don't ever ask questions like that. Nothing is ever going to happen to you." I said firmly. Why would she ask a question like that?

"I know... But what if it was happening? What would you do?" She asked again. "Hypothetically" She added on quickly. I took in a deep breath.

"Hypothetically?" I asked just to clarify what we were talking about.

"Hypothetically." She nodded.

"Well... If you were dying, I would save you. I'll be your knight in shining armour, and I won't let anything or anyone harm you." I smiled, kissing her on the nose.

"You are so cheesy, Cooper." She laughed.

"But you love it." I smiled.

"I do." She sighed. Sonny snuggled into my side and before I knew it, she was snoring away next to me. I laughed and kissed her forehead softly.

"Sweet dreams Sonshine." I whispered.

***End Flashback***

Not long after Sonny's death, that memory kept on popping up inside my head. Could I have saved her? I didn't, but I didn't know she was there to save. If only I had opened my eyes and saw the un-certain movement, the over-the-top smile, would I have noticed that something was wrong. But I didn't. Could I have saved you from yourself?  
Maybe.  
Would I have betrayed you if I did manage to talk you out of it?  
Maybe.  
You wanted to get away from the world, get rid of the pain and reality that is life; if I stopped you, then that would be stopping you from what you wanted to do. Seems like either way, something bad would come out of it anyway. "I'm sorry I broke my promise." I whispered.

"When they, your Mum and the paramedics, in your bedroom, they couldn't believe it. The autopsy revealed that it was suicide, and do you know what they did? The police and the doctors forced themselves to look at every single detail, every single logical explanation, but they couldn't find one. Not even the authorities believed it, Sonny. No one would've thought that America's Sweetheart would commit suicide.

"But then they found the tape. I just wish I could burn that film, so it would just disintegrate and disappear, forever. But they wouldn't let me; something about "evidence"." I shook my head in disgust. "I bet you didn't know that the elevators in your apartment building had security cameras in them, did you?" I wiped a tear from my eye. My whole body was shaking from sobs. "You looked so scared, but determined. I just wish I could erase the picture in my head, of you all alone in that lift with the bottle of pills. It gives me nightmares sometimes." Right now, all I could manage was a whisper. It felt wrong to speak louder than that. I stroked the edge of the stone lightly, running my fingers back and forth. I reached for the pocket of my coat and pulled out 13 letters. Each one written in Sonny Munroe's hand, addressed to me. Every letter contained a reason why she killed herself and each with good reason too.

"I can see why you couldn't do it anymore, Sonny. I just wish you would've come to me. But," I sighed, "what you couldn't do, I will. I'm going to continue on with my life, because like you said _'The curtain does not close here.'_

"I forgive you." I sobbed. "I forgive you. I forgive you" Lewis Carroll once wrote, _'What I say three times is true.' _So, I was hoping it would apply here, hoping she was hearing me, wherever she was.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I love you.

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**A/N **Ta daa! I hope you liked it and want me to continue.

I hope you don't mind me adding the One Tree Hill quote (I adore that show) and Lewis Carroll quote. :D

The next chapters will be flashbacks from when Chad received the letters, and the story in the letters etc.

Please review and tell me what you think. :D :D

**Over, peace and out Suckahs!**

Gracee.


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